The Many Adventures of Cloud and Zack
by PorcupineCuty
Summary: Ever wondered what really happened to the Feather Boys back in their Shinra days? Here's your chance to find out. WARNING: May cause your IQ to drop 87%. Crack Fic!
1. Almost Home

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VII. It is the property of Square-Enix. This is purely for the fun of writing and for people's enjoyment.

**Title:** Almost Home

**Rating:** PG-13 references to drugs. Heh, I'm not on them, I swear! :sweatdrop:

**Pairing(s):** Slight Cloud/Zack Yummy, right? XD

**Word Count: **735

**Warning(s):** May be very annoying to some of you. I swear, I didn't mean to use this song but it just came to me. I must have been on crack when I thought this up. :dizzy eyes:

**Summary:** After a long day's work, the Feather Boys decide to grab a bite to eat.

**Dedication:** To my love of Cloud and Zack because without them, there will be no fic… however, most people would think that was a good thing. XD

**A/N: **This is more or less a crack fic. I just wanted to make something completely hilarious/stupid just to make a few people laugh. I wanted to do little facial expressions with my wonderful keyboard keys but FanFiction doesn't let you do that. Poop...Yeah, I also have them living in the same building just so things could be easier on me. What? It's a crack fic! Nothing is supposed to make sense! :crossed eyes: I hope you enjoy! :smiley: The **Bold **is my narrative/what is taking place at the moment, the _Italics _are what the characters are thinking, and the : (Colons) are what the characters themselves are doing.

**Almost Home**

**After a long day of tedious work and various missions that no one cared for, the Feather Boys make their way home at a steady pace. Suddenly, being only a few feet away from their apartment complex, Zack stops right in his tracks. Obviously, something was bothering the bouncy guy.**

Zack: I don't want to go home yet.

Cloud: Why not? It's late and you must be exhausted from everything that's happened today. Plus, we smell.

Zack: Come on Cloud. Don't you want to go somewhere first and grab something to eat? :looks hopeful:

Cloud: What I want is to go upstairs, take a shower, and get to bed.

Zack: PLEASE! :puppy dog pout:

Cloud: :sighs: Fine…

Zack: YAY!! :drags Cloud to nearest restaurant:

**Thus, Cloud is reluctantly taken to some place he's never been to before with some dude he has no patience for.**

Zack: I'll have the triple cheese bacon burger, a large fries with extra ketchup, a side order of onion rings, a family size bucket of chicken wings, and a Grande coke. :turns to Cloud: That means large, mi amigo.

Cloud: I know what it means. :annoyed:

Zack: Anyway, what are you having?

Cloud: A glass of water. :chews on some breadsticks:

Zack: Bread? Water? Where're you at? In a prison? Order something decent! This is why you are all bones and no meat.

Cloud: :vein pops: I'll have a donut.

Zack: … Well, it's a start. :gets distracted: JUKEBOX!! OMGWTFLOL!! I haven't seen one of these in years! Let's see what songs it has!

Cloud: Let's not. :sips water:

Zack: Hmm, that one looks good. No, that is! Wait, maybe I should choose that one?

Cloud: Just pick one already!

**To everyone in the restaurant surprise, the song _Barbie Girl _by AQUA starts blasting out of the large yellow machine.**

Zack: Whoo! I love this song!

Cloud: O-o What are you smoking?

Zack: Dance with me Cloud!

Cloud: You have GOT to be kidding!

Zack: Nope! :drags Cloud to the dance floor, swinging him to and fro:

Cloud: o-O

Zack: Sing Cloud! "I'm a Barbie Girl! In the Barbie World!" I can't hear you!

Cloud: :twitches: I'm getting out of here! :runs but gets captured by Zack:

Zack: There's still three more minutes to the song! :holds Cloud close to his body: Now dance! :twirls Cloud:

Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

**And so the Feather Boys ended up dancing the night away instead of just sleeping like Cloud had planed. Too bad for him. He was so close, almost to his home when he let Zack convince him to go out to "eat."**

Cloud: T-T I was almost there! So close and yet so far away!!

Zack: Stop crying and dance!! :kitty face: WHEE!!

**I guess no one ever told Cloud that almost doesn't count.**


	2. Day Off

**Title:** Day Off

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing(s):** None. It might be a little Cloud/Zack but it's more like friends hanging out then an actual date. Whatever! Take it the way you see fit!

**Word Count:** 1,019

**Warning(s):** Some gory talk. Nothing too bad. Might make your head hurt. XD

**Summary:** On their day off, the Feather Boys decide to hang out in the cinema.

**Dedication:** To my younger brother Carlos who doesn't know when to be quiet when a movie is on. XP

**A/N: **I was thinking about going to the theater when I thought this up. I started thinking how annoying it would be if anyone started talking while the film was being played which turned into this chapter of my fic. XD I hope you enjoy!

**Day Off**

**It was a beautiful Saturday here in the city of Midgar and the Feather Boys have the day off from work. They sit around in Cloud's apartment coming up with ways that would entertain their empty minds. Unfortunately, nothing good will come from their depraved little souls.**

Zack: Gee, Cloud; what do you want to do tonight?

Cloud: The same thing we do every night, Zack. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE CINEMA!!

**:Theater:**

Cloud: What do you want to see?

Zack: THAT ONE! :points dramatically to a poster on the wall:

Cloud: "Slaughter Down Wall Market" Why would you want to see something with such a crappy title? It's probably not going to be any good.

Zack: Because there's going to be blood.

Cloud: …

Zack: Lots and lots of blood!

Cloud: :raises an eyebrow: And you like that kind of stuff?

Zack: :nods his head repeatedly: Yeah! I mean, it's horror slash violence! Who doesn't like a film that has blood splatter on the walls, chopping off heads, and limbs flying everywhere?

Cloud: O-o You are one sick puppy.

Zack: Arf! :puppy huffs:

Cloud: Come on, boy. Let's go get some snacks. :drags Zack by the collar of his shirt:

**:Cashier:**

Cashier Lady: That'll be 1,258,946,327,892,050,266,984,318,931 Gil.

Cloud: O-O What!?

Zack: :goofy grin:

Cloud: ZACK! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

Zack: I'm hungry and the snacks here are just so tasty. :smiles:

Cloud: There's no way we can eat all that.

Zack: Maybe you can't but I can! :D

Cloud: Well, how are you going to pay for this?

Zack: Um… yeah… about that… I was hoping if you could lend me some cash.

Cloud: No.

Zack: OH COME ON!!

Cloud: No! You still owe from the last six times. :folds his arms against his chest:

Zack: I swear! I'll pay you back. The next job we get, I'll give you my entire paycheck. Ok? :angelic smile:

Cloud: I don't know…

Zack: :quivers his lower lip:

Cloud: :sighs: Fine…

Zack: YAY!! :grabs entire pile of food and rushes to the theater:

Cloud: Why do I feel like such a jackass?

Cashier Lady: Will you be paying with cash or credit?

Cloud: :takes out credit card:

**:Theater Room 4:**

Zack: No! Don't go in there! He's got a mallet! :munches on pretzels:

Cloud: :annoyed: That's an axe.

Zack: Same diff! :slurps soda:

Cloud: Oi… :massages his head:

Zack: :jumps up: AHHH!! You see? I told you not to go in there!

Cloud: Shhh! :whispers: People are trying to watch the movie.

Zack: What's stopping them? :oblivious:

Cloud: You!

Zack: :ignores Cloud: He's going to eat your brain!! RUN!! RUN!!

Cloud: What part of "Shhh!" did you not understand?

Zack: I can't watch! :covers eyes, leaving only a small crack between his fingers to see the screen:

Cloud: _At least he's quiet now._

Zack: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! :squeals like a girl:

Cloud: :startled: Holy shi-!!

Zack: Scary, isn't it?

Cloud: No… you just scared the living crap out of me with that shriek you just gave! :furious:

Zack: Oh? Did I? I thought you would be more of a man than that. :smirks:

Cloud: This coming from someone who was screaming like a girl a few seconds ago!

Zack: Um… Cloud, maybe you should settle down.

Cloud: No! I will not settle down! I'm trying to watch this movie in peace and all I hear is the constant nonsense flowing out from your mouth! Damn it! What does a guy have to do to shut your mouth up! :rage:

Zack: Uh… Cloud?

Cloud: Not to mention you can't take a hint! "Shhh!" is another way of saying, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!" I was trying to be nice but what do you do? You act like a dumbass just to piss me off!

Zack: Cloud?

Cloud: I swear, if I didn't leave my sword at home you would be dea-

Zack: Cloud!

Cloud: What!? :infuriated:

Zack: The security guard is right behind you.

Cloud: :silence: Crap…

**Cloud was then "politely" escorted out of the theater to wait for his noisy friend who appeared from the doorway one and a half hours later.**

Cloud: How was the movie? :clenched teeth:

Zack: You were right. It wasn't that good of a movie. :munches on popcorn:

Cloud: :silent but trembles, hanging his head low:

Zack: Cloud? Are you ok?

Cloud: Zack…

Zack: Yeah?

Cloud: Run… :swings head up: FAST!!

Zack: Oh, hell… :starts running:

Cloud: COME BACK HERE YOU MONSTROSITY OF A MAN! YOU'RE DEAD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'LL- :fades away into the night:

**With the remainder of the night, the Feather Boys decided that it would be best to help Zack burn off all those calories by running for his life. Perhaps he shouldn't have pushed Cloud over the edge.**

**:2:47 A.M.:**

Cloud: :foams at the mouth: DIE!! :swings lamppost:

Zack: T-T SEPHIROTH! HELP!!

**There's no way in hell Sephiroth would get up at this hour just to help Zack live. I'm sure Zack will figure it out… eventually.**


	3. Me Too

**Title:** Me Too

**Rating:** PG-13 Maybe I should write a PG one so everyone could enjoy.

**Pairing(s):** A very small part of Zack/Cloud. Actually, all my fics will be a little of this pairing just because it's about them. XD I should really stop though… before it gets out of hand. O-o

**Word Count:** 1008

**Warning(s): **This could get really annoying really fast. If you are someone who cannot handle annoyances or can't stand words being said in a repetitive nature, then I suggest you skip this fic and go straight to the next one. Also, there's a line here that might disturb a few people if they are extreme homophobes.

**Summary:** The Feather Boys decide to pass the time by thinking up really annoying games.

**Dedication: **To my friend Nicole who never ceases to amaze me on how she could annoy the crap out of me by the smallest things.

**A/N: **This one is meant to be more annoying than funny. I was irritated all morning and decided why not share with the rest of the world! XD Wow, that makes me sound like a bitch. :sweatdrop: I'm sorry!! Anywho!! Don't ask me where I got this idea because I have no clue. I think I was thinking of something that has to do with food… whatever! This one even got on my nerves but I said, "What the hell? I'll go along with it anyways." I think in this one, Cloud and Zack sort of switch personalities. It wasn't intentional; it just came out that way. :sweatdrop: However, they switch back towards the end. :grins: One last thing, when you get up to the part where Zack "speaks rapidly," make sure you read fast to get the full effect. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

**Me Too**

**On a mission to look for lost data on the Cetra at the Icicle Inn, the Feather Boys are put on guard duty to the North to make sure no enemies slip through from the Great Glacier.**

Zack: MAN!! This sucks! I wish there was something we could do. :pouts:

Cloud: Me too. :sighs:

Zack: :groans: I've never been put on such a lame assignment before.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I'm so bored…

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: Maybe we should do something.

Cloud: …

Zack: :looks towards Cloud: Any suggestions?

Cloud: …

Zack: :sighs: You're no help at all… :thinking rather hard: I know! Let's play a game!

Cloud: …

Zack: Don't you want to play a game? :raises an eyebrow:

Cloud: …

Zack: Well, I want to play a game. :stretches:

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: Really? SWEET!! Let's play Truth or Dare! Me first! :hums to himself while he thinks: Got one! Truth or Dare?

Cloud: …

Zack: Uh… hello? Cloud? Truth or Dare?

Cloud: … :yawns:

Zack: :clears throat: I'm taking that as a Dare. Alright! I dare you to go to the middle of town and run around NAKED!! :evil laugh:

Cloud: … :shifts his weight to his right leg:

Zack: :chokes on evil laugh:

Cloud: …

Zack: :ahem: Cloud? You have to go now and be naked.

Cloud: …

Zack: :frustrated: Cloud!! Why are you not listening!?

Cloud: … :blinks:

Zack: Argh! Forget it. This has just turned into the lamest day I have ever had. I just want to go home and sleep.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: Ah! So you CAN talk! How about we go grab something to eat now that you didn't want to play with me. :mumbles: Jerk.

Cloud: …

Zack: Well, do you want some or not?

Cloud: …

Zack: :gets up: Well, I want food.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: Then why didn't you say that when I asked you?

Cloud: …

Zack: This is getting ridiculous! I'm leaving! :turns to leave:

Cloud: Me too. :stands:

**It suddenly dawned on Zack that young Cloud here was playing a game, only HE just wasn't aware of it. Looks like Cloud is giving a shot at being just as equally annoying as Zack could be.**

Zack: Ok. I see what you are doing. You are trying to get on my nerves so I can see how you feel whenever I do it. Am I right?

Cloud: … :scratches the back of his ear:

Zack: Ah-ha! I'm right!

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: No. You're being childish. I'm being more mature. **(For Once.)**

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: Ok… that's REALLY started to get to me now.

Cloud: Me too.

**It's seems that even Cloud needs something to relive himself with. (That sounds so wrong! XD)**

Zack: I'm warning you, Cloud. If you do not stop with that stupid line, I'll do something to you so scarring, you're going to wish you had stop when I told you too.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I mean it! Last time! I don't want to hear that any more! :aggravated:

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: :growls but then grins:

**It looks like the porcupine-headed man has just come up with an idea. Let's see what it is.**

Zack: That's it. I don't care any more.

Cloud: Me too. :smiles:

Zack: I need to rest. : speaking rapidly:

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I want to shower.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I want some cookies.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I want milk.

Cloud: Me too.

Zack: I want to have sex with you.

Cloud: Me to- :eyes widen:

Zack: :smirks:

Cloud: … Oh, you ass.

Zack: :cracking up: What's the matter Cloudy? Don't want to play any more?

Cloud: Shut up… :grumbles:

**The Feather Boys then decided to spend the rest of guard duty in utter silence. Well, there was an occasional snicker from Zack but that's beside the point!**

Cloud: :hangs head low: I suck…

Zack: Me too.

Cloud: :glares at Zack: I didn't mean it in THAT way.

Zack: But I did. :winks at Cloud:

Cloud: :twitches:

**Therefore, no one could possibly be more annoying than Zack. **


	4. Bubblegum

**Title:** Bubblegum

**Rating:** PG Whoo! One we could ALL enjoy!

**Pairing(s):** None! Whew… that's a first!

**Word Count: **1,407

**Warning(s): **Let's see… your warning for this one is beware of Zack when he's craving to chew on something. O-o Oh, and the lame attempt at using slang in the first line. :crossed eyes:

**Summary:** The Feather Boys relaxing when one wants to have gum.

**Dedication: **To my father, brothers, friend, and anyone else who sounds like a cow when they freaking eat. :twitch:

**A/N: **Alright. After letting off some steam with my last chapter, I decided that playtime was over. It's time to get serious… well, serious as a crack fic could be. XD I didn't make this one out to teens so much because, well, since the topic IS gum, it would be nice if I had some children out there read. Maybe they are reading now my other ones for all I know and all this has been for nothing. Whatever the case, I think it's still pretty entertaining. Enjoy!

**Bubblegum**

**The Feather Boys are, once again, chillaxing at Zack's apartment, as they often do when they are not working. Whilst watching an action movie of some sort that only guys would like, Zack interrupts for the millionth time to mutter something of complete nonsense. At least, that was how the blonde saw it as.**

Cloud: :sighs: Now what?

Zack: I want something to munch on. :moves mouth awkwardly:

Cloud: Then go get your toy bone.

Zack: No! I want something more flavorful. :pouts:

Cloud: :annoyed: Then go suck on a-

Zack: SHHHH!! :pokes Cloud shoulder: PG, remember?

Cloud: :mumbles: I do now…

Zack: :continues as scripted: Hmm… I think I'll go look for something in the kitchen.

Cloud: You go do that. :waits patiently for the spiky-headed man to leave: _Wait… aren't I spiky-headed as well? What if the readers think I'm waiting for myself to leave? _:blinks while getting a boot to his face from behind the curtain: Ow!

Zack: Hm? You said something?

Cloud: :clears throat: Yeah. I said, "What are you planning to eat?" :nervous laughter:

Zack: :raises an eyebrow: Uh, I'm not sure yet. I'm sure I'll know when I come across it. :leaves for the kitchen:

Cloud: :sigh of relief: Thank goodness. I can finally watch T.V. in peace. :kicks back and relaxes:

**:Half an Hour Later:**

Zack: :returns holding an enormous ball of pink:

Cloud: O-o What the…? What is that?

Zack: sheepish grin: It's gum!

Cloud: :silent: Gum… that's what you got?

Zack: :nods dramatically:

Cloud: :sighs: I should have expected as much. Where did you get such a… huge piece like that?

Zack: The guys back at HQ gives it to me whenever I want to talk to them. :smiles:

Cloud: Uh-huh… do they say anything AFTER they give you the gum? :crosses arms over chest:

Zack: Yes! They say, :disguises voice as a deep older man's one: "Here. Choke yourself with this." Aren't they nice?

Cloud: :wide-eyed: Now why didn't I think of that?

Zack: Huh? What do you mean? :clueless:

Cloud: :pulls out one Gil from his wallet: Here. Go buy yourself some more gum.

Zack: YAY!! :takes Gil: You're so nice to me! :teary eyed:

Cloud: :stifles a laugh:

Zack: Anyway, want to have a piece?

Cloud: No thanks. You're going to need all the gum you can get to shut that trap up.

Zack: :already chewing away: What? Did you say something? :munch chew:

Cloud: I said, "No thanks. I don't like candy."

Zack: Gum's not candy.

Cloud: :twitch: Then I don't like sweet things.

Zack: But didn't you eat a donut in the first chapter? :blinks:

Cloud: That wasn't MY choice! The writer gave me a sweet tooth when she knew full well that I'm not one for sweets! :vein pops:

**At that moment, the author gets angry and swings her mallet at the blonde know-it-all.**

Cloud: Oof! :knock unconscious:

Zack: O-O Oh dear… now what am I suppose to do? :bites nails:

**Just then, a little messenger pigeon flies in and drops a note.**

Zack: :opens note, beginning to read out loud: "Wait for him to get up," … Ok then! :chews gum

**:Two Hours Later:**

Cloud: :raises himself up from floor: Ugh… :shakes head:

Zack: Finally! It took you FOUR days to wake up? :holds up four fingers:

Cloud: You liar… I've only been out for a few hours. :rubs head:

Zack: GASP!! How'd you know?

Cloud: That television program was schedule to come on after the movie was over. :sits on couch:

Zack: Darn… I should have change the channel. :mumble grumble:

Cloud: :sighs: Whatever… give me the remote.

Zack: reluctantly hands it over, all the while chewing away at his gum:

Cloud: :takes remote: You're still chewing on that crap? I thought you would have been dea- uh… I mean… thrown it out by now. :sweatdrop:

Zack: I can't stop chewing! It's so addictive! :munch munch munch:

Cloud: Well, do you have to chew it like that? It's getting on my nerves… :narrows eyes:

Zack: But if I chew it any way else, I can't get the natural juices to flow in my mouth. :smacks gum all over the place:

Cloud: :glares: Fine. At least sit far away from me when you chew that stuff.

Zack: OK!! :sits right next to Cloud:

Cloud: -.-" That's NOT far away.

Zack: I know but I want to show you the monster bubble I can make with this baby! :starts to blow:

Cloud: Uh… I don't think that's such a good idea… :nervous shift:

Zack: :continues to blow:

Cloud: Zack, stop it! That's too big to be blown inside!

Zack: :ignores:

Cloud: Zack! Stop it now! :fearful:

Zack: :bubble the size of the living room:

Cloud: This does not bode well…

Zack: :bubble pops:

**:Three Hours Later:**

Cloud: This is all YOUR fault. :aggravated: We wouldn't have to be here cleaning up this mess if it wasn't for you!

Zack: :on all four scraping up gum from the floor: Yeah but I didn't think the writer would make US to clean it. I mean, we're her stars! Shouldn't she hire a cleaning lady or something? :pathetic sigh:

Cloud: Tight budget, remember? :vein throbbing:

Zack: :blubbers: Man, this sucks… well, at least no one was harm doing the making of this. :grins:

Cloud: :glares at Zack: Speak for yourself! I have a huge glob of gum in my hair!

Zack: That's it? Well, I could help you there. :gets up from floor and walks over to Cloud:

Cloud: I think you've done enough today, thanks.

Zack: Don't be a baby and let me see. :grabs Cloud's head and yanks out the remainder of the gum… along with a few OTHER things:

Cloud: Ow! Gently!! :hisses:

Zack: Oops… uh… all better! Let's get back to cleaning! :ripping gum off couch: Hum dee dum dum!

Cloud: Zack… what happened?

Zack: Nothing! :nervous laugh: Everything is fine. It's not like I ripped off the entire left side of your hair! :whistles while he works:

Cloud: :eyes widen massively: WHAT!?

Zack: It was an accident! :slowly inches for the door:

Cloud: MY FOOT IT WAS!! :runs to bathroom to check on himself:

Zack: Phew… for a second I thought he was going to kill me… :relieved sigh:

Cloud: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Zack: O-o Oh my…

**With the yell heard around Midgar, the Feather Boys came to the conclusion it would probably be best not to hang around each other for the time being… or ever.**

Cloud: :sniff: My hair… it's all gone…

Zack: :peaks in bathroom: It's not ALL gone… just the left side of it. :cheerful smile:

Cloud: :glares at Zack whilst picking up a shaving machine:

Zack: Uh… Cloud… you seem upset. Perhaps I should lea- :runs away:

Cloud: :chases after him all around Midgar raging like a mad dog:

**Anyone ever noticed that Cloud has anger management issues?**

Cloud: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! :shaving machine makes wild noises in the night:

Zack: :hides up in the ONLY tree in Midgar:

**Perhaps Cloud should go see a therapist.**


	5. Mission

**Title:** Mission

**Rating:** PG

**Pairing(s):** None. I bet that makes you sad. XD

**Word Count: **1,177

**Warning(s): **This one has one of the characters acting really feminine so, of course, there's some OOC. I know a lot of fangirls are going to hate me for this but… OH WELL!!

**Summary:** The Feather Boys inspect a mine.

**Dedication: **To our Special Guest Star for putting up with this. XP

**A/N: **Yes! I have returned! XD After thinking up a "punishment" for what happened in the last chapter, I came up with this. And yes, this one does have a guest star for you all to enjoy. You're welcome. XD Some people might be, "How dare you!? WTF MAN!!" But, hey, this IS a crack fic. No one is supposed to act like themselves anyway. Well, I hope you enjoy!

**Mission**

**Since the Bubblegum Incident, the Feather Boys have been put on an inspection mission to the Mythril Mine. The purpose of this was to "teach the slackers a lesson in responsibility." They are to report anything unusual and to bring back a sample of the rare Mythril mineral that the mine produces. Simple, no? Wrong! These are the Feather Boys we are mentioning here. Nothing is EVER simple with these two… except, maybe, their brains.**

Cloud: :walks in the darkness with only his flashlight guiding the way: Would you stop clinging to me? You're making it very difficult to walk.

Zack: :blubbers: But I can't see anything! What if I fall and land on my beautiful face? I don't want to be as ugly as yo-er… I mean… Yuri. :sweatdrop:

Cloud: :twitch: Then put your own flashlight on. :raises an eyebrow: Who's Yuri?

Zack: Someone you don't know. :nervous laugh: Anyway, :changes the subject: what would happen if your light goes out? We won't have a back up to get us out of that jam.

Cloud: Good point. I'm surprised you came up with that on your own.

Zack: I can be smart at times. :triumphant grin whilst holding up his diploma:

Cloud: :stops walking: Um, why is it written in crayon?

Zack: No it's not! :flings it to the side:

Cloud: … :continues walking: I rather not know. Just keep your eyes open for any Mythril.

Zack: :soldier stance: Aye, aye. Mon Capitan!

Cloud: :annoyed:

**With their bickering over and done with, the Feather Boys continue on their journey through the treacherous cave.**

Zack: :trips: Ow!! :sniff: Now I'm in pain.

Cloud: :under Zack: You're not the only one. :vein pops:

**Didn't I just say it was treacherous? Anyway, once on their feet, they make it to the end of the corridor when a creepy silhouette appears at an opening.**

Zack: :trembles with clattering teeth: Wh-wh-what i-i-is th-th-that?

Cloud: :hushes a gulp: I'm not s-sure.

Zack: So, you're scared too?

Cloud: :knees shake: Of course not!

Zack: :sarcasm: Of course not.

**Just then the enigmatic silhouette belches out a THUNDEROUS voice.**

Loud Voice: WHO DARES ENTER MY DOMAIN AND DISTURB MY SLUMBER!?

Zack: :points to Cloud: It was his idea.

Cloud: :glares at Zack: Then why are you here?

Zack: I just came to stop you. :nods:

Loud Voice: ENOUGH! EXPLAIN WHY YOU ARE HERE THIS INSTANT!!

Zack: :hides behind Cloud:

Cloud: :gulps down a boogie: Uh… we :voice cracks: um… :ahem: we are here for the sole purpose of conducting an inspection. We'll be leaving as soon as it's done, Mister… er… Voice, sir.

Loud Voice: IS THAT SO? YOU! THE ONE TRYING TO HIDE UNDER THE PEBBLE! ANSWER ME.

Zack: :freezes in place: Heh? :drops pebble and stands straight: Yes, sir! Mr. Voice, sir!

Loud Voice: :sighs: Stop calling me "Mr. Voice." It sounds pathetic.

**Mr. Voice :gets whacked on the head: then heads towards the light of the electron illuminator to reveal none other than… :plays trumpet: Sephiroth!**

Zack: Sephy? Is that you? :teary eyes:

Sephiroth: :narrow eyes: You guys suck.

Cloud: :sigh of relief: Yeah. That's him alright.

Zack: YAY!! :runs to give Sephiroth a hug only to be knock to the ground by one hand: Yup! That's him!

Sephiroth: How is a man suppose to work on his beauty sleep with this entire racket?

Cloud & Zack: O-O Excuse me?

Sephiroth: You heard me. My feminine features are ruined now! :wails:

Zack: :speechless:

Cloud: Okaaaay… now what am I suppose to do?

Sephiroth: :turns around: Does this trench coat make my butt look big?

Zack: :still speechless:

Cloud: :sweatdrop: Um… Writer? A little help here! He even has Zack acting weird. O-o

**Uh… sorry for the inconvenience, Readers. This will take only a moment.**

Rain (Author): Hey, Seph! Come here for a sec.

Sephiroth: How can I be of assistance, my liege? :curtsy:

Rain: :cough: Yeah… Look, that's not in the script. :points to script: See?

Sephiroth: I'm aware of that. I just came to the conclusion to do an Improv instead.

Rain: :blank stare: Why?

Sephiroth: Because I'm Caesar's Ghost! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! :evil grin:

Rain: O-o Uhhh…

Sephiroth: :starts slicing away at everything in sight:

Rain: :twitch: There goes my set.

Sephiroth: :yelling at camera: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!! :slice and dice:

Rain: Zack, what did I say about drugging our guest?

Zack: :nervous laugh: Not to do it no matter how much fun it may seem.

Rain: And what would happen if you were to disobey me? :crosses arms over chest:

Zack: :hangs head low: I won't get any chocolate for an entire week.

Rain. Good. Now guess what happens. :smirks:

Zack: :cries:

Rain: That's right! No chocolate for you!

Cloud: Er… I hate to interrupt but… :points to Sephiroth: shouldn't you stop him?

Sephiroth: :casting fire to a nearby town: BURN! YE OF SO LITTLE FAITH! LET THE FLAMES ENGULF THY WRETCHED SOUL INTO THE FIERY PIT OF SANTA CLAUS' BELLY!

Rain: …

Cloud: Hello? Did you hear me? :pokes author's arm:

Rain: That's it! I quit! :throws script into air: I can't work with you people anymore!

Cloud: :eyes widen: What?

Rain: You guys can find another job. I'm through! :twitch:

Cloud: Great. Now I'm out of a job again. I guess it's back to making deliveries. :gags: This sucks. :drags feet off set:

Zack: :snaps out of it: Wait! You can't quit.

Rain: Oh, yes I can! I'm the writer! If I decide to quit then that's that.

Zack: I won't let you! :swings arms around madly:

Rain: :smirks: What do you plan on doing about it? If I wanted to, I wouldn't even let you finish your next sentence. In fact, I won't!

Zack: HA! I'd like to see yo

**By the way, that last line WAS intentional.**

**:Meanwhile:**

Sephiroth: :chews on tree bark whilst singing: I'M A LUMBERJACK AND THAT'S OK!!

Rain: Can someone get some charcoal for this man?


	6. Plushies!

**Title:** Plushies!

**Rating:** M Towards the end there's… groping and I really don't want anyone under the age of 18 to read that. O.o

**Pairing(s):** Cloud/Zack naturally. Even though nothing BIG happens, the implications are there. XD And some touching as well… Children leave this fic now!

**Word Count: **2,023

**Warning(s): **Well, there's a mention of porn and undies so… be on your guard! As well as a curse here and there. And maybe some sexual stuff… I have issues. XP

**Summary:** This time, the Feather Boys hang out at Cloud's apartment. Mayhem is just around the corner.

**Dedication: **To all my readers who have an obsession with plushies just as much as I do.

**A/N: **Ok. This one took me a little longer than I thought it would but I've been sick and I just wasn't up to it. However, I'm feeling better and I'm back with a vengeance! :evil grin: Anyway, here is Chapter 6 for you. I wanted to see how Zack would behave if they were to hang out at Cloud's place AND see what secrets Cloud might have lying around. Oh, this does not bode well… Enjoy!

**Plushies!**

**During the time when Midgar entered an economical crisis and all citizens were receiving layoffs from their jobs, the Feather Boys decided to take it easy at Cloud's apartment complex. Just a few floors up from Zack's own apartment, the hyperactive man was in no way going to refuse the offer given to him by the blonde.**

Zack: So what are we going to do? Pull pranks on the President? Disguise ourselves and pose as models? Or do you want to hit the clubs and snatch us some hot babes? :mischievous grin:

Cloud: I was actually hoping for a more quiet night here at home watching movies while eating a light snack.

Zack: Porn and beer? :bounces up and down:

Cloud: :twitch: No… horror and popcorn.

Zack: :mouth falls open: That's lame! That sound like something you would do for a girl in order to get in her pants. Unless… :sly look on his face: You're offering?

Cloud: O.O No!! I don't want to do THAT! :blushes:

Zack: :pouts: Are you sure? :lower lip quivers:

Cloud: No… I mean… yes! We are not going to do that stuff. We are to sit in front of the screen and watch movies. That's it! Nothing else. :goes to kitchen to bring back bowl of popcorn and throws himself in front of the screen:

Zack: :kicks the ground softly: How boring… :reluctantly sits next to Cloud, grabbing a handful of the buttery snack:

Cloud: See? Isn't this much better than your wild life? :munches on popcorn:

Zack: Meh… :shoves popcorn into mouth:

**After an hour into the film, Zack becomes restless and becomes quite a nuisance to the younger soldier.**

Zack: You know, Cloud? I just realized something.

Cloud: :annoyed from being interrupted for the sixth time in a row: You finally realized you should nail your mouth shut? :optimistic:

Zack: :frowns: No. :wriggles nose:

Cloud: :disappointed:

Zack: I just realized that whenever we come to your place, you only take me to the living room or into the kitchen. You've seen my entire crib. How about letting me see yours? :sheepish smile:

Cloud: No. :trying to tune out the bothersome man:

Zack: Oh come on! Why not?

Cloud: Because you will offer to do THAT again. -.-"

Zack: No I won't. :shifty eyes:

Cloud: Yeah, sure. Now shut up and watch the movie.

Zack: :mumble grumble: You suck ass.

Cloud: :glares:

**A few more insults had been exchange but then the entire room fell silent. The only noise was the shrieking of a woman being slaughtered from the television set. Suddenly, Cloud's cell phone rings with one of the commanding officers yelling into the other end of the receiver.**

Commanding Officer: Strife, get down here this instant! That no good buddy of yours trashed the entire training facility due to his recklessness and… ah, hell! One of the metal pipes just fell on poor George.

George: Ow…

Cloud: I'm sorry to hear that, sir. :glares at Zack:

Zack: :off in his own little world:

Commanding Officer: Like hell you are! Just get down here and clean this mess up! :foaming at the mouth:

Cloud: With all due respect, sir, but shouldn't you be contacting First-Class SOLIDER Zack to sanitize the facility?

Commanding Officer: Are you questioning me, officer? :venomous voice:

Cloud: Yes, sir!

Commanding Officer: Good. I was just making sure. :clears throat: We thought it would be good for you to learn how to clean up after the filth your superior creates. That and the fact we can't seem to get into contact with him. Seriously, where is that man?

Cloud: :glaces at Zack:

Zack: :drools:

Cloud: :shakes his head: I wish I didn't know, sir.

Commanding Officer: Huh? What was that? Speak up!

Cloud: I said, "I don't know, either."

Commanding Officer: :sighs: That's fine. Just get down here and help Bobby clean this place up.

Bobby: Um… it's Roalier, sir. :sweatdrop:

Commanding Officer: Bobby. Roalier. They all sound the same! Just fix this place up! :walks over wounded man: And don't forget George here, too.

Roalier: His name is Mikhail, sir.

Commanding Officer: Don't have time for chitchat. Strife, get your behind down here now! :hangs up phone:

Cloud: :listening quietly to the dial tone: Looks like I'm going out.

Zack: :stops drooling: WHERE!? :excited:

Cloud: To work. :annoyed:

Zack: Awww… :slumps back against the sofa:

Cloud: Yeah. No thanks to you! :vein pops:

Zack: Huh? What'd I do? :confused:

Cloud: :sighs: Everything.

Zack: :blink:

Cloud: Never mind! Just go home! :points to door:

Zack: Can't I just stay here?

Cloud: No! There's no way I'm letting you stay here for nearly six hours!

Zack: You really have to be gone that long? :raises an eyebrow:

Cloud: I don't know… that mess sounds unbearably time-consuming. :hangs head:

Zack: Well… sucks for you! :chuckles:

Cloud: :considers smothering Zack with a pillow:

Zack: Look, I won't do anything to your precious apartment. In fact, I could even look out for it. You know, just in case robbers come and try to steal your two-inch screen.

Cloud: :resists temptation:

Zack: Seriously, that thing is way too small. Are you trying to tell me something ELSE is small?

Cloud: Shut up! :steaming: Fine! You could stay. Just don't touch anything and stay right here! The last thing I want is for you to be snooping around.

Zack: I promise I'll stay right here. :angelic smile:

Cloud: Bye… :walks out the door: I have a bad feeling about this.

Zack: See ya! :waits for door to slam shut: YES!! HE'S GONE!!

**With Cloud leaving for the Training Facility and Zack inside the rather small apartment, he gets up and starts exploring the unknown.**

Zack: Whoo! Down the hall I go! :turns right: What's this? A door? I wonder what's inside! :opens door: A closet… nothing but clothes and boots. Next! :slams door:

**Zack continues to open two other doors he saw only to find another closet and a bathroom that was a little too clean for his liking.**

Zack: Cloud… you frighten me. I swear it's like a woman lives here or something. :shudders:

**He tries to lead his mind into other thought when he notices one door he hasn't touched at the end of the corridor.**

Zack: Must be his room. I have got to see this!

**The cerulean-eyed man tried to turn the handle only to find the room locked.**

Zack: Typical… There must be a key around here somewhere. :searches for two hours: Nothing… must have taken it with him. Oh well… nothing else to do except… :takes out Buster Sword: CUT IT DOWN! :diabolical smirk:

**He calmly starts hacking away at the door. Once broken into tiny pieces, the spiky-headed man slowly makes his way into the neatly made room to find hordes of adorable plushies sprouted all over the place.**

Zack: No… way… HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR PLUSHIES!! :throws himself into the bed to play with the forty-something plushies there: You guys are so cute!

**Meanwhile, back at the facility…**

Roalier: Cloud, be careful. We don't want to make Mikhail's injuries worse.

Cloud: :drops Mikhail on his back:

Mikhail: Ow!

Roalier: Oh no! Are you okay? :gently picks up Mikhail:

Cloud: _Why do I feel this sudden urge to want to kill Zack? Oh my Odin… my apartment._

**:Cloud's Apartment:**

Zack: :tosses a Moogle plushie into the air: Upsy-daisy! Come back to Papa! :giggles:

**After eight grueling hours of pure torture from repairing the Training Facility, Cloud returns home to find a happier-than-usual Zack… if that's even possible.**

Cloud: What are you grinning about?

Zack: I saw them. :smirks:

Cloud: :nervous: Saw who?

Zack: Don't play dumb with me. :holds up a Chocobo plushie: He looks like you.

Cloud: You went into my room!? How dare you!! How did you even get in? I have the key! :furious:

Zack: Through the door, of course. :evil grin:

Cloud: :eyes widen: You didn't? :runs to his room: Ack! My door! You tore down my door!

Zack: Actually, I hacked it to pieces. :nods still holding the Chocobo plushie:

Cloud: :glares: It doesn't matter. The point is that I have no door here now. :snatches Chocobo: And give me Mr. Squawkers! You're not allowed to touch him with such defiled hands.

Zack: You named him? :stifles a laugh in failure: HAHAHA!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!! MR. SQUAKERS INDEED!! :wipes away tears from eyes:

Cloud: Shut up! You have no right to judge me!! :runs into room: Did he hurt you, Marshmallow? :picks up Moogle that Zack was playing with before:

Zack: :rolling on the floor laughing his ass off:

Cloud: :fierce look at Zack: Get out! Get out!! GET OUT!!

Zack: :rises to his feet: Relax, man. Where's you sense of humor? I like your sweet side. You should show it to me more often. :smiles:

Cloud: Whatever. :places plushies in rightful place:

Zack: This makes me wonder what kind of underwear you wear.

Cloud: None of your business! :hisses:

Zack: Let me look. :goes behind Cloud and pulls pants down: Whoa! Nice! I didn't think you would wear Lollipop boxers.

Cloud: :struggles to get his pants back up whilst blushing: Zack, you perv!

Zack: To think that those boxers are actually appropriate for what we are to do next. :malevolent grin:

Cloud: No! Don't you dare come near me. :slowly backs away:

Zack: There's nowhere to run to Cloud. The only way is through the door and the only way you are getting out is if you get pass me.

Cloud: :holds on to pants: I'll… jump out the window!

Zack: We're on the eighteenth floor. You won't be able to survive.

Cloud: I'll take my chances.

Zack: :without another word, he dashes forward taking Cloud into his arms and forces his hand down his pants: Oh? You're not as tiny as I thought you were. :smirks:

Cloud: :major blushing issues: Stop it! Get away from me! :violently pushes Zack away and makes a run for it:

Zack: Where're you going? The fun is just beginning! :pursues his prey:

**And so ends another adventure of Cloud and Zack. Except this time, it's Zack who's doing the "hunting."**

Cloud: :teary eyed: Please Zack! Don't make me into a man yet!! I'm not ready!!

Zack: Too bad! I need release now!! :pounces on Cloud:

Cloud: :blubbers: Why me!?

Zack: I'll give you a little hint. :gropes Cloud's backside:

Cloud: T.T

**Uh… I'm not even going to tell you what happens next. **


	7. Poetry

**Title:** Poetry

**Rating:** PG-13 ANNNNNNNNNND WE'RE BACK WITH THE TEEN STUFF! XD

**Pairing(s):** None. Didn't think an actual paring was good for this one.

**Word Count:** 2,063

**Warning(s): **Um… I'm not sure…. A curse that appears every-so-often… that's about it.

**Summary:** The Feather Boys listen to the inner workings of other's souls.

**Dedication: **To all my poets out there whom I'm putting to shame with this fic. XD

**A/N: **Whoo! Now it's poetry time! This one is a bit… weird…. I'm not sure where this idea came from but…. It's here so what can I do? There's another Guest Star in this one. I don't know if it was a good idea to put him in here. I'm sure if he ever gets to read this, he'll want to kill me but oh well!! Enjoy!

**Poetry**

**It's Open-Mic-Night at the Mango Tango Rango and the Feather Boys decided to drop by. Zack feels somewhat passionate towards people's work of art. Cloud, however, feels that it's a bunch of sentimental crap and should be kept in secret. Does this mean that this will be a night of utter chaos? You bet your ass it will!**

Zack: OOOooOOOOooo!! Cloud, let's go in here!! :grins:

Cloud: :raises an eyebrow: Why?

Zack: It's Open Mic Night!! :silly smile:

Cloud: You do realize Mike is spelled "M-I-K-E" don't you?

Zack: I know how to spell Mic! :shakes fist:

Cloud: Sure you do… -.-"

Zack: Be quiet and just come inside! :opens the door:

Cloud: :naughty thoughts plaguing his mind: O.o

Zack: Dude, why are you so red?

Cloud: Oh, no reason! :nervous laugh:

Zack: :blink blink: Okay!! :sweet smile:

Cloud: Phew!

**The Feather Boys are finally inside the club and are seated right in the front to get the perfect view. The poetry readings are just about to start and everyone has fallen silent… everyone except a certain noisy, blue-eyed, spiky-headed man.**

Zack: Psst! I think she's talking about you, Cloud.

Cloud: :twitch: She is not!

Zack: Then whom could she possibly be talking about? :hand on chin:

Cloud: Gee, I don't know. Could it possibly be the man who's humming to himself, moving around in his seat as if something were climbing up his shorts, and asking "When's the show gonna start?" every FIVE SECONDS!? :vein pops:

Zack: Man, that's annoying. They should really kick that guy out. :hums to himself whilst shifting in his seat: So, when's the show gonna start?

Cloud: -.-" I should have stayed home today.

Zack: But then you wouldn't be able to enjoy my wonderful presence. :grins:

Cloud: :mumbles: That's the point…

Zack: Hmm? What about your joints?

Cloud: They are more sore than usual.

Zack: That's too bad… OLD MAN!! :points and laughs obnoxiously:

Cloud: _Please! Someone! Anyone! Take me out of my misery! _:slams head against table:

Zack: Hey, Cloud? You shouldn't do that in public. You're disturbing the other people. Plus, you're killing your brain cells.

Cloud: :glares at Zack: I'M disturbing the othe- oh never mind! :sighs: I hope I kill enough brain cells to end up in a coma.

Zack: :pats Cloud on the back: Ah! Teenage angst! I'm glad I don't have to go through that again. :teary eyes:

Cloud: :slams head once more on table:

**:ahem: Anyway, the lights go dim and the stage's curtain opens to reveal the first person to recite their poem.**

Random Guy #1: My Corn Cereal. So sweet and buttery. Melts in my mouth and flows down to my stomach! How I long to wake each morning to feel the sweet sensation of such pureness in my belly. The mere sight of it makes me-

Zack: HURL!! Come on! You're putting me to sleep here! :yawns:

Cloud: Zack! Be quiet! That's rude!

Zack: What's rude is that this bonehead has no sympathy for the innocent lives that's being taken from his so-called poetry! :scoffs:

Random Guy #1: Well, I've never! :marches off the stage:

Zack: Well, now you have. :smirks:

Cloud: :pinches Zack:

Zack: Ow! Why'd you do that?

Cloud: Why do you think? If you want to stay here then behave!

Zack: Behave? :pouts: That's so boring…

Cloud: I mean it!! :hisses:

Zack: :sighs: Fine…. :mumbles: Mr. Poopyhead…

Cloud: :glares:

**After a few more minutes of noisy chatter, the next person takes their place on the stage. It was a girl of elegant beauty. One could tell she knew what was what in the world by the dignified look in her eyes.**

Random Girl #1:Springtime is such a blessing. The way the flowers bloom and the birds sing heavenly tunes. The tress being green and the children playing on the scene. The sky shines a perfect blue while the clouds make me-

Zack: SPEW! No offense, Cloud.

Cloud: None taken. -.-"

Zack: My Odin! Someone get this girl off the stage already! I can't take any more of this rhyming!

Random Girl #1: Oh! How dare you!?

Zack: I dare because-

Cloud: He doesn't know the difference between what to say and what not.

Zack: No… because I have no sense of morality what so ever.

Cloud: I think it's because you have too much morality.

Zack: Shut up! No one is talking to you, Cloud. :narrows eyes:

Cloud: :snickers:

Zack: Anyway, back to me being a critic. You have the look. Trust me. You are smoking hot! :winks:

Cloud: :gags:

Zack: But you simply lack the talent. I mean come on! Only little kids use rhyming words in their poetry. You just don't do it for me. :waves hand in dismissal:

Random Girl #1: :cries: You asshole! :runs off stage blubbering:

Zack: :sighs: I'm such a heartbreaker but what can I do when I look this good? :grins:

Cloud: Conceited prick…

Zack: Jealous much? :smirks:

Cloud: :pours glass of water on Zack:

Zack: I see. You just wanted to see how I looked like with my hair wet. I don't blame you. :strikes a pose whilst chuckling:

Cloud: _Why am I here again? _:sighs in defeat:

**Next up… we have someone very special. He's made appearances at the Mango Tango Rango in the past and he's here once again to bare his soul. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… :drum roll: Vincent Valentine!! (How is Vincent here when he's supposed to be asleep in the Shinra Mansion? I have no idea… I'll let you guys figure that one out. XD)**

Vincent: Darkness surrounding every corner. My soul burning to be set free. I lost the will and power to liberate myself. It is here, in this Shadowy Realm, I can no longer find my harmony. I'm lost inside this nothingness, wishing for it all to end. My eyes glowing-

Zack: YOU EMO BASTARD!!

Cloud: :chokes on bread:

Zack: Hey! Mr. Gloom and Doom, how about taking real lessons on poetry and stop trying to get sympathy from your many fangirls!

Vincent: :twitches: If I don't give the fans what they want, how am I to be honored and worshiped?

Rabid Fangirls: OH! VINCENT!! WE LOVE YOU!! DON'T FEEL SO SAD!!

Vincent: :points: You see? It's like they are begging for me to be Emo. :goes Shakespeare on everyone's ass:

Zack: I rather eat my own vomit than listen to any more of this crap. :rolls eyes:

Vincent: :snaps, taking out rifle and starts shooting at Zack:

Zack: :dodges each one, landing in an awkward position: Bloody hell!! Are you insane?

Vincent: :hides straightjacket:

Zack: What are you doing opening fire here? You could have killed someone!! :rage:

Cloud: :holds up bread full of holes: He killed my snack. T.T

Vincent: I was aiming at your knuckleheaded friend.

Cloud: Well, you missed! :whimpers: And he's not my friend!

Zack: Cloud, shouldn't you be on my side?

Cloud: No.

Zack: :weeps: You're just as bad as his poetry!

Vincent: :foams at the mouth: IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO A BETTER JOB THEN WHY DON'T YOU COME UP HERE AND RECITE POETRY YOURSELF!!

Zack: Fine! I will!! As soon as Cloud goes! :nods:

Cloud: :stops crying: What?

**Cloud is then forced onto the stage and has the microphone placed in front of him. The poor blonde tries to get away but is stopped dead in his tracks by the gorgeous Zack. Apparently, it's Cloud's turn to show his inner demons.**

Cloud: I don't want to do this.

Zack: Too bad. You're not leaving until you do. :mischievous grin:

Cloud: I don't even like poetry! :flailing arms:

Vincent: Come on, Chocoboy. Show us what you got. :smirks: **(This line is for you, Nicole! XD)**

Cloud: :twitch: You all suck.

Zack: I'm sure most people are aware of that by now. Just get on with the poem.

**He lets out an exasperated sigh and begins with his humiliating task.**

Cloud: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Poetry makes me puke and have anal leakage too.

Entire Crowd: :deadly silence:

Cloud: Buttheads… :begins to walk off stage when finally taken out of the rest of the story: WAIT!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!! I HAVE A CONTRACT!! :vanishes:

Vincent: O.O Can she really do that?

Zack: :nods: Yes… yes she can…

**With Cloud (that wet blanket) out of the way, Vincent turns his attention to Zack to see what kind of poem the doo-doo head had up his sleeve.**

Vincent: Well?

Zack: Well, what?

Vincent: Don't you have anything to perform? :waits patiently:

Zack: Uhhhh…. Yeah… of course I do… :cough:

Vincent: Then get up there and say it already! :losing patience:

Zack: Okay… I will…WHAT'S THAT!? :points dramatically:

Vincent: :turns head: What? :pie to the face:

Zack: :flees like a bird:

Vincent: DAMN YOU ZACK FAIR!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU WERE LOST IN A POOL OF DESPAIR!!

Random Guy #2: Is that Vincent with cream on his face?

Random Girl #2: It is! OMG!! How kawaii!! :squeals: Come here, Vinny. I'll take it off for you. :winks:

Random Guy #2: Hell no! I want to lick it off his face! :drools:

Random Girl #3: There's no way you are touching my Honey Cakes!! :foams:

Random Girl #4: What do you mean he's YOUR "Honey Cakes?" He's MY Cookie Lips!!

Group of People: :tangled up in smoke: FIGHT FIGHT BITCH FIGHT!

Vincent: O.o Oh my… :runs away:

Rabid Fan People: HE'S LEAVING! QUICK! AFTER HIM!! :in pursuit:

Vincent: ZACK, I'LL KILL YOU ONCE I GET RID OF THIS HORDE OF PSYCHOTIC APES!! :running for dear life:

Rabid Fan People: VINCENT!! COME BACK!! LET US LOVE YOU!! :heart heart:

Zack: :comes out from hiding inside a sewer pipe: Is he gone? :looks around: Whew! He's not here. I guess I'll live for now.

**Zack makes his way home, humming the same tune from the club, when he suddenly hears someone calling his name.**

Zack: Huh?

Random Girl #5: Isn't that Zack covered with bodily wastes?

Random Guy #3: Holy crap! It is!

Rabid Fan People: WE WANT SMELLY ZACK!! LET'S GET HIM!! :raging fans trying to get a piece of Zack:

Zack: Oh shit! Not again!! :runs for his life: AHHHHHHHHH!!

**Thus, ended the bizarre trip to the Mango Tango Rango. I think everything went well, don't you?**

Rabid Fan People: GIVE US YOUR BLOOD!!

Zack: Quit making my life hell and save me!! T.T Cloud!! COME BACK!!

**Unfortunately for Zack, Cloud is taking some time off to vacation down at the marsh where the Midgar Zolom lives.**

Midgar Zolom: MMMmmmMMMMMmmm!! I smell meat. :searches for lunch: Oh, looky what we have here. Another Chocobo to have for my supper. :slurps: Yummy!

Cloud: O.o :gulps: Mommy…

**The next scene is a bit too violent for the viewing public.**

Cloud: :covered in blood: If you have any mercy in your soul, you will get me out of here right now!!

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**


	8. Names and ADDness

**Title: **Names and ADDness

**Rating: **PG-13 I like writing obscene things. MWAHAHA!

**Pairing(s):** There's not really one here either. Well, Cloud and Zack are hanging around each other so… slight Zack/Cloud? :nervous laugh:

**Word Count: **2,532

**Warning(s): **Let's see… I have too many strange ideas so the result is a messed up fic like this? XD

**Summary:** The Feather Boys start contemplating where their names originated.

**Dedication: **To anyone whose parents were bizarre enough to give them a weird name.

**A/N: **Rain Misoa has returned to wreck the day!!! XD That's right. I am back and with me come the Feather Boys. It's been way too long since these two have been around. I think they've been dormant enough so I decided to bring them back. I will be updating regularly now, like I used to do before I went on a hiatus, and hopefully I can start making your brains hurt once again! XD As always, enjoy and watch out for the random scenes. XD

**Names and ADDness**

**It was a rather chilly day in the streets of Midgar. No one was around, not even the hookers down at Loveless Avenue and since there was not much activity going on, the Feather Boys decided to stay inside ShinRa's HQ having a bite to eat at the cafeteria.**

Zack: :munches on food:

Cloud: :munches on food:

Zack: :stops chewing:

Cloud: :keeps chewing:

Zack: Hey, Cloud?

Cloud: :continues to chew:

Zack: Cloud?

Cloud: :ignores, chew:

Zack: :pokes Cloud's arm: Cloud!

Cloud: :snaps: WHAT!?

Zack: :chuckles: Can I ask you a question?

Cloud: :twitches: What is it?

Zack: What was your mother smoking when she named you?

Cloud: :slaps Zack upside the head: My mother wasn't smoking anything when she named me! -.-"

Zack: :lump on head: Really? But she named you Cloud! She must have been on something!

Cloud: Well, she wasn't!

Zack: It really is weird. Not to mention it clashes with your last name, Strife.

Cloud: What's wrong with my last name? :quirks an eyebrow:

Zack: What ISN'T wrong with your last name? It means violence for crying out loud!

Cloud: As if you should talk! Your last name is Fair! FAIR! How the bloody hell could you be "Fair?"

Zack: You'll come to know that I'm a lot more like my last name than anything when it comes to certain situation I have to go through in life.

Cloud: I should hang you. -.-"

Zack: So here's where your last name kicks in! In makes sense now! :realization:

Cloud: :tries not to push Zack out the window:

Zack: I mean, let's take everyone into perspective here. :puts on some glasses and takes out a whole bunch of files from his briefcase:

Cloud: O.o You wear glasses?

Zack: Only when I want to prove to the readers that I can be smarterer too! XP

Cloud: Oh, yeah, because they'll believe you are highly intelligent when you have the word "smarterer" in your vocabulary. :eye twitches violently:

Zack: Hush you! :ahem: Anyway, let's start with Rufus Shinra. A decent name. I know quite a few people named Rufus. It sounds like someone demanding. Someone who can hold their own when put into difficult situations. :nods:

Cloud: Sounds like a spoilt brat, if you ask me.

Zack: Well, I didn't so quiet! :holds index finger up to his lips:

Cloud: :stifles a laugh:

Zack: :ignores Cloud: Let's move on to Sephiroth. A kick ass name! It sounds like one of those Norse Gods that the person was saying in front of the chalk board the other day. I never knew what her purpose was but sometimes she has a few decent things to say.

Cloud: Zack… that was the instructor giving us tips about our next mission.

Zack: …

Cloud: …

Zack: SO THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT! I thought they were some kind of bacteria shoving nothing but useless Materia down my throat. :realizations… again:

Cloud: Uh, you mean "material," right?

Zack: Is what I says! :sheepish grin:

Cloud: :ponders whether or not he should choke himself with his bagel:

Zack: Moving onwards! :now wearing a sailor's hat:

Cloud: :raises an eyebrow: Where do you get all these different clothes?

Zack: From the prop closet! I swear, Cloud, you should look in there sometimes. There's this cute little pink dress that would look absolutely fabulous with those legs of yours. :smirks:

Cloud: :hisses: I'm not a girl! How many times I have to tell you!? :tosses a piece of bagel to Zack's head: And I DON'T have nice legs! :steaming:

Zack: :snickers: Really? That's not what the guys said in the men's locker room the other day. :sly smile:

Cloud: :takes out a pad and pen: Note to self: Kill entire softball team.

**Just then the Feather Boys see a huge sign coming down before them reading: "MOVE ALONG WITH THE SCRIPT ALREADY!!!" Before finally continuing with the main subject in question.**

Zack: :clears throat: Well, now let's think about Reno's name.

Cloud: From the Turks?

Zack: No. The one with the casino. Of course from the Turks!

Cloud: Hey, Zack? How many lumps would you like with your coffee?

Zack: Uh, just three or four lumps of sugar would be nice. :grins:

Cloud: :whacks Zack's head five times: Oops… I gave you an extra lump. :smirks:

Zack: :seeing stars: That's okay! I like sweets. :dizzy eyes:

**NOW!!!**

Zack: Right, right. :covers lumps with a baseball cap: Reno's name sounds adventurous! Exciting! Fun! I believe it suits him well, don't you?

Cloud: Yes. If you like crack-heads. :sips apple juice:

Zack: Come on, Cloud. That's not nice. We all know that the only reason he's a crack-head is because Square-Enix messed with his image. You know, kinda like you and being Emo?

Cloud: :slams down cup: Damn you, Squeenix! Damn! You! :goes back to sipping juice:

Zack: :silent: Oooookaaaaaay. Anywho… Now let's talk about yours truly's name. Zack. Simple. A decent, common name. It's means business and yet playful. A wonderful name.

Cloud: :gags:

Zack: :glares at Cloud: I didn't hear you complaining about it last night when you were screaming it at the top of your lungs.

Cloud: :chokes on food whilst going instantly red:

Zack: Heheheheheheheh! I win!

Cloud: Shut up… :still blushing:

Zack: :takes a quick bite out of his peanut butter and oranges pancakes before he continues to critic everyone's names:

Cloud: :eyes Zack's food with disgust: How in the world could you eat that junk?

Zack: Like this! :shoves a piece down into his mouth, making chewing noises: Yum yum! Tasty!

Cloud: :turns green: That's sickening…

Zack: You know you like it. :puts some up to Cloud's nose: So good!!!

Cloud: Ugh! Get it away! :pushes food onto the floor:

Zack: Awww…. I was going to eat that. :bends down, picks it up, and still places it in mouth:

Cloud: :looks as if he's about to barf:

Zack: :stops eating to look at Cloud: What? It's still good! Ever heard of the "Three Second Rule"?

Cloud: :decides to look away from the revolting scene:

**Almost as if it were magic, the Feather Boys receive yet another notice from a vending machine not too far off from where they were seated. This time it read: "EITHER YOU STICK TO THE SCRIPT OR I'LL HAVE TO TOSS YOU INTO A HOT POOL FILLED WITH BURNING LAVA!!!"**

Cloud: Me thinks you should get on with it, Zack. :is a bit disturbed by images of him burning in lava:

Zack: Good idea. Now where was I? :looks at script: Oh, yeah! Your name now, Cloud! :excited, bouncing up and down:

Cloud: Oh, joy… :makes another note of wanting to kill the writer:

Zack: Cloud… why in the world would you be called Cloud? It makes no sense! A cloud is a visible mass of droplets or frozen crystals floating in the atmosphere above the surface of the Earth or another planetary body, in our case the FFVII World or, like some fans like to call it, Gaia. :continues on his rant: A cloud is also a visible mass attracted by gravity (clouds can also occur as masses of material in interstellar space, where they are called interstellar clouds and nebulae.) The branch of meteorology in which clouds are studied is nephology or cloud physics.

Cloud: :shocked: You don't even know what a T.V. dinner is and yet you just so happen to know the complete definition of a cloud? How in the hell do you know all that stuff?

Zack: You should check out Wikipedia sometime. It's a great site for any type of information that you seek. :nods head several times:

Cloud: Can we advertise another site on here? Wouldn't the author get sued or something like that?

Zack: No idea… but if she does… I'm sure she wouldn't hold it against me. I'm too loveable for her to do otherwise. :sweet smile:

Cloud: You obviously don't remember when she sent me to the Midgar Zolem or sent those rabid Fan People after you.

Zack: I don't remem- :images of the past plague his mind: Oh yeah… :shudders at the recollections: Not fun. I'll keep my mouth shut from now on.

Cloud: As well you should.

**The Feather Boys keep loosing focus when it comes to the route of the matter. By the way, Rain Misoa claims no rights about anything that is said or done within this fic. It is purely made for entertainment purposes and doesn't own the cloud portion of Wikipedia or anything else that was mention by the ignoramus with the black hair. Please ignore the fact that it's here for she doesn't want to get sued, have to sell all her possessions, and have to live somewhere in Kuwait.**

Zack: You know… she has a strange imagination.

Cloud: Why do you think we have to go through so many weird events when it comes to her chapters?

Zack: :reminiscing: Yeah… BUT I ALWAYS END UP HAVING FUN!!! :giggle/snort/knee slap:

Cloud: :hangs head low: Why do I even bother?

Zack: Because you're a hopeless optimist and can't help but to want to save me! :hopeful grin:

Cloud: No… because I'm a fool and you're just a pathetic idiot.

Zack: :sniff: Oh, Cloud. You do care! :runs up to Cloud and gives him a big hug:

Cloud: Get off. :twitch:

**The feather Boys engage in a Love Fest when, for the last time, they get an enormous sign in yellow with alarming sirens screaming: "THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! FINISH THE GOD DAMN SCRIPT!"**

Zack: So, anyway Cloud… :seems to be oblivious to the yelling alarm: … my point is that I see no connection between you and your name.

Cloud: You couldn't say that before that THING showed up. O.o :ears are still ringing:

Zack: Well, I was having too much fun with loving you. :heart:

Cloud: Oh boy… -.-"

Zack: What's wrong? You miss my loving? :creeps up slowly to Cloud and grabs him from behind: I can make those feelings of loneliness disappear. :smirking:

Cloud: :flustered: No… don't…

Zack: :bites onto Cloud's neck:

Cloud: :moans a bit:

**It was at that moment when they both get magically transported into an erupting volcano. They are slowly lowered into a fiery pit whilst they are kicking to be free when a tiny piece of paper floats down in front of them. It simply read: "READ THIS OR ELSE!"**

Zack: :reading word-for-word: I see no connection between you and your name.

Cloud: :also reading word-for-word: The connection is there. However, you fail to see it.

Zack: :starting to sweat: Tell me where's the connection.

Cloud: :eyes starts to water from the extreme heat: Cloud's are symbolic and it shows that there's deep meaning whenever used in a well-written story. Therefore, I am a deep person.

Zack: :dodging little flames spouting from the fire: Really? :reads his actions aloud: "Stay silent."

Cloud: :mimics Zack: "Also stay silent."

Zack: :reads his final line: You're mother was a junky…

Cloud: …

Zack: …

Cloud: …

Zack: …

Cloud: …

Cloud & Zack: That ending sucked!

**The rope holding them quickly let's loose and they both fall into the FIERY PIT OF THE VOLCANO!!!**

Zack & Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Zack: It burns! It burns!!!

Cloud: It's in my eyes!

Zack: You can't blame us! Even you know that ending was horrible!

Cloud: My skin is melting!

**Shut up! ****You had this coming when you forced me to do that disclaimer! Besides, it's Squeenix fault for not giving legitimate reasons for your names!**

Zack: Oh yeah because you have NOTHING to do with this crappy writing, right? :sarcasm:

**I BURNS YOU NOW!!!**

Zack: :screaming in agony:

**Ah! I feel satisfied now.**

Cloud: My lumbago! :teary eyes:

**O.o**


	9. Karaoke!

**Title: **Karaoke!

**Rating: **PG

**Pairing(s):** Oh, some hints of Cloud/Zack as always! :Grins:

**Word Count: **3,411

**Warning(s): **Prepare for your ears to bleed or eyes, rather! XD

**Summary:** The Feather Boys go out for a night of karaoke.

**Dedication: **To Nicole for that time she took me to Pennsylvania and I started singing off the top of my lungs in the middle of the road! XD

**A/N: **Salutations once again! So sorry I've been gone for a long time now. I always seem to do that. XD Tain't my fault! XP I have laziness embedded into my genes. :Knows she's using a pathetic excuse: I'm not going to promise that I'll be updating a lot more from this moment on so just tune in every now-and-then and, hopefully, you'll see something new! Anyway, enjoy the Feather Boys and all of their retardedness glory! Actually, this one is a bit different from my other ones. Not sure how this one came about but I still hope you guys enjoy it! :Smiles:

**Karaoke!**

**Once again, it was a chilly night in Midgar. Of course, it was to be expected considering that winter was slowly creeping up to the city folk there. This time around, the Feather Boys decided to go have fun at a karaoke bar. And after a long day's work, what better way to relax than singing your guts out in a place full of strangers?**

Zack: I'm so excited to be here! It's been forever since I've went to a place like this! :jumping up and down, holding onto Cloud's arm:

Cloud: Hm… I see… Now let go. :mildly irritated:

Zack: Let's sit over there! :drags Cloud to a seat towards the front:

Cloud: :being dragged whilst looking like this: -.-"

**At that moment, a slightly bald man was up front singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" with lots of vigor… too bad he was tone-deaf.**

Zack: :covers his ears: Oh, why!? Make it stop! Make it stop!

Cloud: :ignores Zack's outburst: Why couldn't we go somewhere else?

Zack: :recovers from a meltdown: Because singing brings joy into people's lives! And we all know that your gloomy self needs it. :grins:

Cloud: But weren't you just upset a minute ago from that guy's singing?

Zack: I wonder what kind of drink I should order…

Cloud: Did you hear me?

Zack: I want… Codeol on the Rocks! :victory pose:

Cloud: Someone shoot me. -.-"

Tseng: :pops out of nowhere, takes out gun, aims carefully… then decides it isn't worth it and disappears before anyone takes notice of him:

Cloud: At least tell me why we couldn't go to a private karaoke bar. You know, the ones with the booths?

Zack: Because I've sang to you in private enough as it is! I want OTHER people to experience my BEAUTIFUL voice! :nods head enthusiastically: Besides, singing in public is a better way to humiliate you! :nods once more:

Cloud: :eye twitches violently: I'm finding it harder and harder to control myself…

Zack: From leaping onto me and saying how sexy I look? :sheepish grin:

Cloud: No… from leaping onto you and strangling you to death. :clenching teeth:

Zack: Ah-ha! So you DO want to leap on top of me! I knew it! :feels accomplished:

Cloud: :vein pops:

Zack: Oh, look! Here comes the next act! Thank all the Gods in the world. You know what it's like having an annoying sound stuck in your ear for minutes nonstop? It's frustrating! :relieved sigh:

Cloud: You don't say… I couldn't even begin to imagine. :sarcastic:

Zack: Well, it's a good thing you can't! Otherwise, you'd be in a crankier mood than you usually are.

Cloud: _Does he even realize that he's the source of my crankiness?_

Zack: It's a good thing you have me here to cheer you up! :pats Cloud on the back, roughly:

Cloud: I'll take that as a no…

Zack: Hmm?

Cloud: Nothing. Hey, there she is.

**On the stage stood a tiny old woman, wearing neon yellow farmer's pants with hair as purple as the ShinRa's Second-Class SOLDIER uniform which stood as tall as the Great General's Masamune was long.**

Cloud: Whoa… I wonder where she escaped from.

Zack: Dunno… I kinda like her getup, though!

Cloud: :side glance: You would.

Zack: :smiles: What can I say? I have an interesting fashion sense.

Cloud: :mumbles: You have no sense at all.

Zack: :turns towards Cloud: What? Speak up, bud! The music is starting.

Cloud: :speaks louder: I said, "I was about to fall."

Zack: You should be more careful then! :turns back towards stage:

Cloud: :nervous laugh:

**With the music playing, the little old lady moved the microphone closer to her mouth, making a loud shrieking noise as a result, and began singing the lyrics to "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" all jovial and energetic like.**

Cloud: O.o I knew she was a bit strange… but I wasn't expecting this.

Zack: :bouncing in his seat: That's right, Granny! Make her come around the mountain! :cheers:

Cloud: :eyes Zack curiously: _They have the same fashion sense… same attitude… even the same taste in music… could it be…?_

Zack: :nudges Cloud: Isn't she great? :whistles: You go, Granny!

Cloud: _Oh my word… She's Zack's doppelganger!_

Zack: :stops partying: Cloud? You look paler than usual. Are you feeling alright? :places hand against the blonde's forehead:

Cloud: :white as a sheet: I've died and gone to live in Palmer's house.

Zack: O.O Oh no! Not there! Anywhere but there! Come back to life! :trys to give Cloud CPR:

Cloud: :snaps out of it and shoves a dirty napkin in Zack's mouth: Don't even think about it! :hisses:

Zack: :spits out napkin: Taste like cookies… Hmm… I wonder if he…?

**As if right on cue, the little old lady takes her bow and hands over the microphone to Zack.**

Little Old Lady: For being such a good lad, I will bestow upon you the Magic Wand of Selverod which gives you the voice of the goddess, Mikalis. :pats his shoulder: Save Velafora. :smiles awkwardly and takes her seat at the very back:

Cloud: :quirks an eyebrow: Zack, what was she talking about?

Zack: :seriously nods and stares at the microphone intensely, almost as if he understood every word that poured from the woman's mouth:

Cloud: Zack?

Zack: Only _I _can bring peace to Velafora. :yells for all of Gaia to hear: I will protect Velafora with my life! :rushes up to stage and begins to sing:

Cloud: :stares blankly at Zack, then at his drink: What the hell is in this stuff anyway?

Zack: :singing "The Power" with all his heart into it:

Little Old Lady: :dancing in her seat: The Power be with all of the Velaforians! Sing it, sonny!

Zack: :points to little old lady and winks:

Cloud: :hangs head low whilst shaking his head: I've got to stop hanging around Zack.

**However, much to Cloud's surprise, everyone at the bar was enjoying the random song choice and the display that was being played out by the two. They didn't even take noticed as to how loudly Zack seemed to be singing the song. It was a rare sight to see in a city such as this and Cloud, though no one took noticed, seemed to be enjoying it most of all.**

Cloud: :shakes his head once more, this time smiling gently:

**When Zack was finished with his song and with the audience going wild with excitement, he bowed several times, blowing kisses to the audience and one huge one to the little old lady, and ran to Cloud.**

Zack: Your turn, Cloud. :sing-songy voice:

Cloud: Wha-what? Why me?

Zack: I told you I wanted to see you embarrassed in front of everyone. :hands over the microphone:

Cloud: No way. :shoves microphone away:

Little Old Lady: :creeps up next to Cloud: But little boy, you must help out Sir Galveant. His power only works if someone he truly cares about was there to support him.

Cloud: Then tell him to get Reno. I hear they have lots of "caring time." :glares at Zack:

Zack: We only went out drinking ONCE! And I was on my best behavior! :angelic halo: I swear I only touch his bottom by accident!

Cloud: I highly doubt that. :annoyed:

Little Old Lady: :places hand on Cloud's shoulder and stares directly in his eyes as if tears would stream from them any moment: Please… don't let Velafora fall into the hands of the Kikutas. They will destroy the majestic beauty that is home to billions of Velaforians. :begins to tremble:

**Cloud didn't know how to react. He was shocked that within this little old lady's mind was a whole world of beings that was as real to her as was he and Zack were to each other. And to her, these people were all she had. To her… they were family… and why should Cloud take that from her? He secretly wondered if Zack was able to see this from the moment he first laid eyes on her. After all, Zack may be a buffoon but he wasn't an idiot.**

Zack: :glancing lovingly at the little old woman:

**Cloud smiled and placed his hand over the small hand of the little old lady's. He gazed at her and nodded and almost instantly, her face lit up and she gave Cloud a quick hug before taking her seat at the back.**

Zack: No, no, Granny. You're sitting here with me! :takes seat from other table and places it right next to him:

Little Old Lady: Thank you, Sir Galveant. That's so kind of you. :smiles shyly at Zack:

Zack: Hey, don't mention it, Gran. :wide grin:

Cloud: :can't help but smile a little:

Zack: Okay, Cloud! Make us proud! :thumbs up:

Cloud: :sighs and makes his way up the stage:

Little Old Lady: I can't wait to see what Boy Walterio has for us. :sitting, holding onto Zack's hand:

Zack: :gently takes hold of her hand: I'm sure it would be quite a sight.

Cloud: :nervously stares out into the crowd, feeling a bit light-headed, takes a deep breath and decides to sing "How Do I Live":

**The entire crowd stood silent, taking in every single moment of Cloud's melodious voice. It reverberated throughout the entire karaoke bar, stunning even the most critical people there. The shy way he moved on stage, the gently pitch of his voice that only a boy his age could make awed everyone. Even Zack, whose mind liked to wander from one subject to the next in a matter of seconds, was enraptured by the youth who stood singing his heart out. Who would have thought that there was a singer in Cloud?**

Little Old Lady: Such a sweet boy. :acting as if she knew Cloud all her life:

Zack: Yeah… he is. :gentle expression:

**By the end of his song, Cloud got a standing ovation and even a few people were choking back some tears. He blushed more than he ever had in his entire life and took a bow. He handed the microphone to the next person and quickly took his seat back with the others.**

Zack: Cloud, you surprised me. I never knew you had it in you. :slams hand against Cloud's back several times: That was so beautiful! :teary eyed, choking on his words:

Cloud: Shut up… I did it for Grandmother. :blushing, looking away from everyone:

Little Old Lady: :gets up from chair and faces Cloud: Boy Walterio? :when Cloud doesn't look her way, she tenderly places a hand on the side of his face and turns him to look at her:

Cloud: :still red but looking into her eyes intently:

Little Old Lady: :smile widens: Thank you.

Cloud: :happily smiles back: You're welcome.

**A few hours later, after listening to other people sing, the three decided that it was time to go home.**

Little Old Lady: Thank you so much, boys, for entertaining this old woman. :bows to them both:

Zack: Hey, any time, Granny. :grins:

Cloud: :nods: We had lots of fun tonight.

Little Old Lady: That's good. I was worried that you might have hated me for throwing that last request on you like that.

Cloud: :holds up both hands and shakes head: No. Of course not. I was just being childish. :shyly looks away:

Little Old Lady: :giggles: Nonsense. It's normal for a boy your age to react like that. :places hand on the side of his arm: I'm just glad that a boy your age could still care for the elderly.

Cloud: :glances back at her: You're a kind person. I couldn't be rude to you.

Zack: :getting emotional: Awwww!!! You guys!!! :hugs both the little old lady and Cloud: You're awesome, man!

Cloud: :gasps for air: I can't breathe…

Zack: Oops… Sorry, bud. :lets go of Cloud and gives the elderly woman one more hug before letting go:

Little Old Lady: Well, I'll be seeing you two around. :waves and turns to walk off:

Cloud: W-Wait!

Little Old Woman: :turns back towards him: Hm?

Cloud: Uh… May I ask your name?

Little Old Lady: Why, of course you may. My name is Judy Just. :smiles:

Cloud: :a bit shocked but quickly overcomes that feeling: It was nice meeting you,

Grandma Judy. :waving goodbye:

Judy: :smiles once again: I'll see you later, Boy Walterio. :bows and takes her leave of them.

Cloud: :still waving, looking back at her fleeting form before he finally stops waving: What an interesting woman… :smiling, more to self than anyone else:

Zack: You really like her, huh? :places arm around Cloud's shoulder:

Cloud: :nods:

Zack: :grins: I thought you might. That's why I invited her to join us.

Cloud: Yeah, it was nice of you to invite her to sit with us.

Zack: No. I invited her to come to the bar!

Cloud: :stares up at Zack: You know her?

Zack: Yeah, of course! No way would I be so friendly with a total stranger.

Cloud: :narrows eyes: I sometimes wonder with you.

Zack: :chuckles:

Cloud: Anyway, where did you meet her?

Zack: Chat room.

Cloud: O.o What?

Zack: It was in a chat room for those interested in cotton balls.

Cloud: :dumbfounded: What?

Zack: We talked about all kinds of things that interest us. She told me of a novel she was writing called "Velafora" and about her main characters, Sir Galveant and his sidekick, Boy Walterio. It sounded so cool that I suggested that she should act as if she were in her story all the time and start referring to things in the real world as if it were her story. :funky grin:

Cloud: …

Zack: Wasn't that an amazing act she put on? All the way to the very end! I was impressed. :makes gesture of being surprised and thrilled:

Cloud: …

Zack: Hey, why so quiet? All wiped out from all the singing? :smirks:

Cloud: :furious: YOU MEAN I DID ALL THAT FOR NOTHING!!!!????

Zack: :breaks out into laughter:

Cloud: I'm going to kill you! :grabs Zack by the collar:

Zack: :wipes away tears: Oh, come on, Cloud. Didn't you see how happy you made her?

Cloud: :goes quiet again and lets go of Zack:

Zack: Trust me. You didn't do it for nothing.

Cloud: :looks away, lost in thought:

Zack: :exaggerated sigh: Seriously, what am I going to do with you?

Cloud: :going over the events of the night:

Zack: :grins and places his arm around Cloud's shoulder again: You're hopeless, did you know that?

Cloud: :blushes:

Zack: :chuckles: Come on. Let's go home.

**After a few minutes of walking in silence, Cloud exhaled deeply and began asking a few questions.**

Cloud: Was she truly happy?

Zack: Of course!

Cloud: No… I mean… For real?

Zack: Yeah. It was you who brought that smile across her face after all.

Cloud: :narrows eyes: Riiiiiight. You stealing that chef's apron and walking around as if you were a Hula dancer had nothing to do with it.

Zack: :raises an eyebrow: Cloud, you saw how she was with you most of the night, didn't you?

Cloud: :remains silent:

Zack: She may have found some of my antics entertaining but it was you who made her feel comfortable enough to act herself.

Cloud: …

Zack: I wonder if it's because you were the only one who acted genuinely to her. :scratches his head:

Cloud: No. You did the same thing, remember?

Zack: Yeah but I KNEW what she was doing. You didn't. Understand what I mean, Cloudster?

Cloud: :lost in thought again:

Zack: I swear… I've seen more birds that talk more than you. :stomps foot:

Cloud: :stifles a laugh with the back of his hand:

Zack: Glad to see you back and IGNORING me again. :pouts:

Cloud: Hey, Zack?

Zack: :on floor now, pretending to be crying: What is it, No-Manners?

Cloud: :smiles: Let's do this again sometime.

Zack: :confused, raises to his feet then grins energetically: You bet!

**And so ends another adventure of the Feather Boys. You see? Even mentally retarded people such as them can act civilized from time-to-time.**

The Feather Boys: :aims canon/torpedoes/grenades/bazooka at the readers whilst dipping themselves in fairy dust and linseed oil: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WE'RE A BUNCH OF COCONUTS!

**Uh… Of course… I could be wrong, she said nervously. O.o**


End file.
